Little does one know what's in store. In spite of the many many stories heard. And now, everyday, I begin to understand those stories bit by bit. I mean, truly comprehend it in a way that one doesn't before. A little bit like how I really only understood elements of direction many months after the course. "Life (and learning) is always (lived) in retrospect", Arun would say.
But why didn't you just do this or do that or say this or say that. Oh, don't think that, that's just bullcrap. Don't fall for this, just do as you like! : Such lines I'd say to my mum. Or friends. Ah, and now. Hmmm... I can't convince myself that it's OK to sleep a while longer. Half an hour. Ten more minutes. While others are up and awake. And then on, I spend my first many waking moments longing for a minute or two more of guilt-less sleep.
"Why guilt!?", I would've asked me if I were my friend confessing to me.
"I don't know... it just seems odd, sleeping while Soum's up early and working, you know..." the friend would respond.
"But you work too. So don't feel guilty!"
Yeah, but I work outside. And she at home. My work allows me powers that her's doesnt. (And what if she worked outside as well!) I'm the night owl. She's the early bird and sometimes a night owl that seems to need little sleep! Ok, so you help out at night. Ah but there's little to be done in the evening or night. All the chores pile up in the morning. The clothes to pull off the lines and fold and sort. The vessels to sort and put in place. The chop chop and fry or boil. Grind or mash. How about you ask to do the chop chop at night? Hmmm... she doesn't work that way.
What the heck, just sleep till you like, does anyone ask you to wake up early!? Nope, no one does. Everyone is sweet about it. Not one word about me helping out or waking up early.
So then, what's your problem!!?
See, that's where I'm stuck.
If I ever imagined a problem scenario, it would be someONE. Or someoneS. Not someTHING. This untraceable, omnipresent, seemed like dormant up till now ... thought. Yeah, thought. Mine. Ah, but not mine really. Put there by not one person but many. And yet, I know it's only me.
Simple question: Why must Chin wake up early at her new home? Ask and my mind moves in circles that outline a course in Gender and Society or some such!
Suddenly I respect C&D more than I already did.
I wish Bangalore wasn't a crowded city. Or that I was, like Meli a bright chirpy early bird :-)
But why didn't you just do this or do that or say this or say that. Oh, don't think that, that's just bullcrap. Don't fall for this, just do as you like! : Such lines I'd say to my mum. Or friends. Ah, and now. Hmmm... I can't convince myself that it's OK to sleep a while longer. Half an hour. Ten more minutes. While others are up and awake. And then on, I spend my first many waking moments longing for a minute or two more of guilt-less sleep.
"Why guilt!?", I would've asked me if I were my friend confessing to me.
"I don't know... it just seems odd, sleeping while Soum's up early and working, you know..." the friend would respond.
"But you work too. So don't feel guilty!"
Yeah, but I work outside. And she at home. My work allows me powers that her's doesnt. (And what if she worked outside as well!) I'm the night owl. She's the early bird and sometimes a night owl that seems to need little sleep! Ok, so you help out at night. Ah but there's little to be done in the evening or night. All the chores pile up in the morning. The clothes to pull off the lines and fold and sort. The vessels to sort and put in place. The chop chop and fry or boil. Grind or mash. How about you ask to do the chop chop at night? Hmmm... she doesn't work that way.
What the heck, just sleep till you like, does anyone ask you to wake up early!? Nope, no one does. Everyone is sweet about it. Not one word about me helping out or waking up early.
So then, what's your problem!!?
See, that's where I'm stuck.
If I ever imagined a problem scenario, it would be someONE. Or someoneS. Not someTHING. This untraceable, omnipresent, seemed like dormant up till now ... thought. Yeah, thought. Mine. Ah, but not mine really. Put there by not one person but many. And yet, I know it's only me.
Simple question: Why must Chin wake up early at her new home? Ask and my mind moves in circles that outline a course in Gender and Society or some such!
Suddenly I respect C&D more than I already did.
I wish Bangalore wasn't a crowded city. Or that I was, like Meli a bright chirpy early bird :-)
3 comments:
Hmmm very well put my dear, when my sister in law came home newly, she would be up with the gang late but get up early to do chores and i would tell her to chill out as my mom does not expect her to do so (mom told her as well) but it was difficult for her because of the same thought I think, and i thought of this in my ignorant days as a scheme to impress! The same thought makes me feel guilty when venky cooks, does washing machine routine and sweeps, these days I am mega busy cooking impressive dinners in the night because 'he has been doing so much from morning' ya i did a lot in the office too but ... its the thought again....AND THANKS FOR WRITING AGAINNNNNNN
And I, in my ignorance and naivete, still choose to believe I'll be able to sleep in late. That maybe it will work out for me. For where would we be without the hope of that extra snooze? :)
:-)
don't have words to say to this...
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