Even before I start writing, I dread that this too shall be shrugged away, smiled at or given a couple of minutes of serious contemplation before returning to whatever you were doing. How to scream when screaming is so common a background noise that it is almost silence.
My every waking hour (and most often they seep into my sleeping hours too), fills up with the next task to do - collecting up like the vessel filling up with sweet water from the slow tap - to be poured into the filter and then back under the slow tap again. To think women spend their lifetimes filling up water...
How life is wasted in this seemingly harmless space. A space that is in fact supposed to sustain you, help nurture you.
My hands and feet begin to resemble my mothers. In mind and of body too. If my feet ache, so what. If my hands are now wounded by soap and parched dry from the soap water, so what. So are your mothers. And all mothers's and grand mothers's and mother in laws's.
Every night a post - it, and then I run out of post - its. Now I want to not need them anymore. Like her, I want it all in my head, in my routine. To be the superwoman able to accomplish without break, without complaint.
And without bitterness? Is it possible?
Like her then, I'll grow a tummy. My lungs will wheeze. My knees will ache. My sleep will wane.
A walk in the park will do. A hobby too forced into my accomplished schedule. Bright young children to be proud of.
Long live Kitchen lives. Scrub, chop, churn and melt yourselves out women.
5 comments:
I feel real pity for the women of our previous generation. Were there any options for them?! I hate the way men generally think, 'what kind if girl u want to marry? I want to marry a girl who can take care of my parents' Wow, what a great and noble thought! ... BullSHIT! Have we men ever thought who will take care of that gurl whom we marry. We rogues assume that they will take care of themselves. But before that they should take care of the house. They should not dream. Read recently that the famous 'lyril soap' ad in which a girl enjoy her bath under a waterfall was made keeping in mind and targeting the housewives who get 10 mins for themselves in the bathroom to dream and fantasise, when they slog at home the rest of the day. Is this all women are entitled for?! Come ON people grow up. Women too have the rights to dream and relax!
The kitchen thing is a tricky one, one fine day when I felt like it is enough I announced that I am not going to maintain this house alone and gave up or signed off. What happened next was, I saw myself clambering to take lead whenever he struggled - he was not putting enough detergent to washing machine, he was not processing vegetables before storing in the fridge, he can never dust the house though he can vacuum, he can cook well but needs constant menu planning by both of us, commode gets cleaned but not the bathroom, vessels get cleaned but not the dish rags and the stove... that other end of giving the ownership to others is frustrating as well... After 10 years of marriage, we have still not stuck a healthy balance which makes either of us do what we love most without getting the whole lot of other things! hang in their girl and love to you :-D
@KJ: Yes, I read the about the Lyril ad too! The influence is there in the post. And the irony is that I received my PG Dip certificate from Alyque Padamsee - the maker of the ad himself!
@Ap: So true. Those "good intentions" are there, but they're not enough are they? And what's really strange is that I've been on both sides now - trying to take ownership and now hoping to hand over some. And both have their problems. More than anything - I hate the amount of mental space cooking occupies!! What to do about it!!??
Agree completely about the mental space! And the annoying part is the expectation that as a woman, you must know what to do right now!
:) There has been times when i have wondered , why is it that there is just 5 Hrs roughly between two meals :D
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